Rebuilding the past
by ummidontknow
Summary: Damon has always loved Katherine, but before her there was a young house maiden who had gained his affections and kept them as they reconnected through the years. Now after believing she was dead he sees her again in Mystic Falls, only she has no memories of him. Will his feelings for her get in the way of releasing Katherine or will he choose differently than he had in the past?
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: The parts that are in italics are flashbacks to the past. I'm writing this for my friend and posting it on here was the easiest way to share it with her. So, I hope she likes it and if anyone else happens to like it also then awesome :) **

**I'm having trouble figuring out how to format it though on this site so I can't seem to double space it or make the lines less close together, sorry for that; I'm not very tech savvy. **

**So, I don't own Damon Salvatore or Stefan or anything else from vampire diaries by the way.**

When returning to mystical falls after such a great deal of time Damon Salvatore never expected the number of reminders of his past to reach as high as the number years spent away from home. Katherine's doppelgänger, his brother, the founding families but most of all he would have never imagined being able to see the only woman other than Katherine that he allowed himself to love again. But there she was, siting in the middle of town watching the people go by, no one paying her any mind as if she was a hallucination his mind. But as he watched on from afar, he realized it was unmistakably her who was sitting there in the flesh, impossible as it may have been. Even when aging slowly, witches didn't live this long and they certainly didn't look that good, as if no time had passed between the last time he saw her and now. He followed her as she walked around town, taking in the changes and the similarities from the time they had lived there. He wanted to stay hidden, he didn't want anyone in town paying attention to him or knowing he was there until it was closer to the night of the comet. Couldn't have Saint Stefan realizing his intentions of freeing Katherine, not that he could stop Damon from freeing his true love, but it would make it more difficult if his brother knew of his presence in town before planned. Even with his devotion to Katherine and his plan he couldn't help but to react when she dropped money on the ground accidentally as she was pulling out her phone. Before she was able to even fully turn around, Damon was standing there with her bill in hand, trying to contain his smirk as he waited for her expression to change into one of recognition. But it never came, instead she looked at him with surprise yes, but instead of knowing who he was she gave him a questioning stare as she wondered why he was gazing intensely at her while only inches from her face.

_~1869~Damon walked along the darkened streets, hunting for the most rotten type of person he could find to eat. Although he knew he was choosing to rid the world of evil by targeting rapists, thieves, and other low forms of life he still felt ashamed, knowing that no matter what the man who he decided to choose to eat has done, he will still be more of a monster for feeding from them until their death. He could hear the men before he saw them, stumbling down a distant street, he headed for that direction only to nearly bump into a woman closing the door on a small corner store. Damon nodded his top hat politely only to stop in his tracks, no longer interested in the dinner he was after. She looked at him, squinting in shocked bewilderment, "Damon?" she questioningly gazed at him before recognition and amazement covered her features._

After clearing her throat, Damon finally snapped his attention back to reality. "I believe this is yours" holding out the money for her to take, but never once removing his eyes from her face as she thanked him with an uncertain expression before bidding him a good day and turning around to walk away. Damon hardly realized what he was doing until the woman snapped back around to face him, looking from his hand on her wrist to his face with a harsh interrogating glare. "What?" "Let me buy you a drink" "We're not even close to a bar and yet you still ask me that? No thank you" She tried to walk away but his grip was still on her, "Coffee then" "I don't drink coffee" "tea" "I'm not thirsty" "lunch then" Damon suggested with a playful smirk and slight tilt of his head. "let go" He released her arm and raised his eyebrows at her, still with a silly smirk on his lips "Oh come on Tonya" Her nose scrunched up as her eyes visibly darkened, black filling them completely as her body tensed up. Although not frightened Damon took a step back, taken off guard that the powerful witch he once knew was now a vampire. That explains the lack of aging he thought as her eyes went back to normal. "How do you know my name?" "Let me buy you a drink and I'll tell you" Damon's smirk grew as he mentally patted himself on the back for forever being the charmer he was. His eyes squinted with the stab at his ego as she once again denied him by telling him to go to hell and racing off before his eyes could follow where she ran off to. Cursing under his breath Damon looked around to see if anyone noticed before taking off himself, suddenly remembering his original plan of being inconspicuous.

_~The amazement and friendliness disappeared from her face before she turned and stormed away from the young vampire. Snatching her hand with his own hand, Damon hadn't expected her to gasp and blankly stare at him for a minute. But as the seconds passed her expression flickered with an almost undetectable hint of concern before it became filled with hostility and he found himself wishing for her blank look again instead. "Don't touch me Damon" she snarled while attempting to rip her hand away but with no luck as Damon held it tightly. "Please Tonya" The pleading in his eyes was almost enough to cause her to falter, in the five years she had not seen him she had forgotten how consuming a simple look from him could be. "You have no right to lay your hands on me!" He released her hand, maintaining a sad but hopeful appearance similar to that of a beggar, "At least allow me to escort you to your home, you may abhor my presence now but as a gentleman I cannot leave you to roam the dangerous streets alone at night, I need to know you'll be safe." "You sir are no gentleman" Although hurt, Damon couldn't help but to gently smile at her, "surely you must think more of me than the drunk scums lurking around the cities corners?" "I would rather take my chances with the worst of them than be in your company." Allowing his hurt to get the best of him he could no longer speak to her calmly, "Don't be daft!" Instantly after yelling at her he fell to his knees, his tall hat tumbling on to the wet ground as he clutched his head in agony. He had never felt such a burning pain in his life and as quickly as it came it faded leaving him in a groggy state, "I can handle it." His dazed expression had a heartbreaking, defeated air as he glanced up at her, with one look she struggled to stay angry with him, she still loved him; his pain was her pain and as much as she hated it she was just as susceptible to him as she had been when she was 13. "Please Miss. Tonya, allow me to…" She had begun to stroll onwards, leaving Damon in a state of confusion until she called over her shoulder, "Are you accompanying me or not Mr. Salvatore?"~_


	2. Chapter 2

**So, can anyone tell me how to make it double spaced? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Vampire diaries**

Damon wasn't sure if she had become the most oblivious person in the world since he had known her, or if she just didn't care enough about his existence to react to him following her all day. It was only yesterday that he had gone up to her; surely she couldn't have forgotten his scent or gotten over the fact that he had known her. They were a predatory species, being unaware of their surroundings was not common. Any other vampire probably would have slammed him against a wall by now and threatened to snap his neck, but she hadn't paid him any attention. This annoyed him to no ends. He tracked her down by her smell and in the morning watched through crow's eyes as she left the home of the Doppelgänger's recently made ex-boyfriend, apparently this is where she was staying. But why stay here? Who was he to her? He knew her family line and knew the two teens inside were not a part of it. He would worry about that later though. His current goal was to escape the boredom of being unnoticed. He abandoned using the bird and instead purposely placed himself in clear view of her after the first half of the day in hopes she would react, but nothing could be taken from her body language or facial expressions to suggest she noticed him. He was invisible to her and Damon did not take being ignored well. After night had fallen she stayed put at the local hot spot. Damon, unable to jeopardize being seen too often by the town's people (especially Zach), decided not to enter and instead stayed close by. As he lay on the roof of the Mystic grill he listened to her as she compelled her way into getting a bartending job, according to the boss the last bar tender had decided to quit no more than 20 minutes before. What a coincidence.

Tonya stood, wiping down the counters getting ready to close for the night; with the sudden leave of the last bartender she was left to start work instantly. Strange how things just fall into place for some people; she was lucky. She was lucky the town that had once been known for its hunting of vampires seemed to lack vervain now, she was lucky she just happened to find two teenagers that needed someone to help with the bills and felt an irresistible urge to treat her like family and lucky to get a job that would put her in a place where she would get a lot of time with the towns people: especially since the spot had previously been taken. Luck was all someone needed to get by, but having the power of compulsion doesn't hurt her chances either. Tonya would be lying if she wasn't a bit rattled though, all day she knew she was being watched; The man wasn't exactly being discrete. Who was that man, how had he known who she was and why did he want her to know that he was following her? She wasn't the type to forget a person, especially since the man had seemed to know her intimately by the emotions that had been displayed on his face the other day and his determination to be around her. Even with the confusion and the sudden need to look over her shoulder for a possibly dangerous shadow, she couldn't help but to feel at least a small amount of excitement and curiosity. Eternal life could get dull, especially in a small town like this where she had to prevent herself from slipping up. She was hoping this other vampire would be the wildcard in her life here, someone on a similar playing field as her instead of the predictable, easily controlled members of Mystic Falls. But as handsome as he was and as intrigued as she was, she needed to keep her guard up, knowing it would be best if he left her alone until she finished what she came to town for. She was hardly surprised when her stalker entered the room, strolling towards the bar as if he owned the establishment. "How about that drink?" She would have giggled at his comment if she hadn't already been in the motion of throwing a glass at him. His figure disappeared before contact was made and suddenly he stood in front of the bar, his devilish smirk intact as he playfully scolded her while taking a seat at the bar, making tsk-ing noises with his tongue, "That's coming out of your paycheck missy" She went to smack one of the closest bottles to his head, only for him to catch it and take it from her grasp. After breaking the top of the bottle off he began to pour himself a glass, mischievous eyes looking up at her through dark lashes, "I'm not one to brag but I'm pretty quick". Grinning at him she raised her brows in a similar way that he had, "I've never heard a man brag about that before." His smirk was impossible to remove from his face even with the jab at his self-worth, it seemed to be a permanent part of his character, "thinking about my sex life already? Well, I don't blame you: look at me. But if you want a better idea of what it's like all you have to do is ask." Rolling her eyes, Tonya's voice dripped with sarcasm, "Yes, because perverted vampire stalkers really get me worked into a sexual frenzy" "Lucky you"


	3. Chapter 3

**So, the chapters keep getting shorter, I'll be sure to make the next one at least somewhat longer since this one and the last are short. I was going to make this one long but I kept not feeling like adding more even though I have the ideas for the next chapter so.. yeah short one. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from The Vampire Diaries**

Tonya thought it would have been more difficult to get him to leave the bar. After bickering with him for a short period of time she was done with him and wanted to go feed on someone then go to sleep. Trying to convince her he would leave after his drink, yet continuing to fill his glass she became exhausted fast. "Enjoy your drink" she called over her shoulder as she walked towards the entrance, "make sure you lock up when you're done." She didn't trust the man, for all she knew he would end up drinking every drop of alcohol and purposely wreck the room for amusement and for a chance to get her to explode on him, but she didn't care. Even if he went on an alcohol and human bender and then burned the remains of both inside of the restaurant, she would only be slightly annoyed. Compelling the police to think someone broke in would be easy enough even if there was no evidence suggesting so.

"Damaging property and leaving the bar open for anyone to wander in? Not very responsible" he teased her, his eyebrows lowering closer to his eyes and his lips tightening before quirking upward. She replied by closing the door behind her leaving Damon alone. He turned back towards his drink and after rolling his eyes and sighing he threw back the remains of the glass before he followed after her without closing up like she requested. Luckily for him she was walking at a human pace, so he could catch up to her without much issue. "So, your place or mine?" He raised his eyebrows at her, his entire body language reeking with playful sexuality. "Mine," Damon grinned, pleasantly surprised with the beginning of her sentence before hearing the rest, "since that's where I'm going and I know even if I tell you to go away you're going to follow in spite of the fact you won't be let in." Damon rolled his eyes for the second time in minutes, unsurprised with the lack of action he would get from her tonight. "At least let me treat you to dinner, you must be starving" he emphasized his last word as he sped close enough to Tonya that he was able to speak it into her ear before stepping in front of her and continuing, "How 'bout it? Teenage boy, middle-aged woman, ooh how about a couple? Romantic dinner of two for two; sounds like a good first date meal for us." Wiggling his eyebrows at her with a crooked grin he took a step forward, eyes flickering around her face, gauging her reaction to him. Her face turned serious, causing the smirk to fall from Damon's face for a split second. "Why are you following me?" "Don't you think that would be good dinner conversation?" "Don't you think I should know your name before having dinner with you?" "Come to dinner and I'll tell you" With that Damon sped away, heading for out-of-town, hoping she would follow.

Tonya wasn't sure why she raced after him, maybe it was because she was curious, maybe it was because she was very hungry, or maybe it was that she secretly had enjoyed the back and forth with him. She hoped he would stop stalking her soon though, because if he didn't he was sure to get suspicious about her intentions and if that happened she would have to violently force him to leave her alone.

Tonya nearly slammed into Damon's back, stopping inches away from him as he turned around to face her, "Shall we?" He lowered his head so he would have to look through his eyelashes at her, knowing it charmed many women, before he turned and held out his arm for her like a gentleman. Without having to respond he knew her response, with her left eye brow raised and her lips turned down he knew she was saying 'are you kidding me?' with her expression. He lowered his arm and walked around the ally they had stopped at, heading for the front door of a bar outside of Mystic Falls. As they walked in together and headed for the bar Tonya lightly scoffed, "You weren't kidding about getting me a drink and dinner first huh? Alcohol and blood, how romantic" Damon's eyes seemed to glow in the dim lighting, amusement at her playful sarcasm clear on his face, "What can I say, I'm a gentleman bound by my word."


	4. Chapter 4

_**I've had the notes for this chapter written out since the day after I posted the last one, but just decided to write it today and am posting it immediately after it's typed like usual, as promised it's longer than the last two. **_

**_Disclaimer: you know I don't own VD_**

_Flashback~ Damon and Tonya walked into the establishment, her arm laced through his, his head held high as he felt filled with joy that he could now take her places without worrying about the slavery laws he once fought to keep due to his father's command. He was pleased with the idea that here, further north than his birth home and now that the war had long since passed, he could take her to see everything that had once been denied to her due to her darker, yet invitingly warm skin. Before walking any further and deciding where to sit Damon spoke gently, "would you find it rude if I got myself a drink before we take a seat?" She gave him a closed smile before playfully responding, "Why, of course I would find it rude, terribly so even. Getting yourself a drink without asking if I want one as well hardly seems like proper manners." His eyes grew slightly larger, her response taking him off guard as he assumed a lady would not want a gentleman's treat, but he quickly composed himself as he smiled gently at her before leading them to the bar where he placed an order for their drinks. "How can anyone breathe in here? There is enough smoke to make someone think a fire has been started." Tonya spoke as she eyed the men in the room filing their lungs with soot. Damon chuckled, finding her lack of experience with rooms meant for males endearing, without her comment he would have never given the smoke a second thought due to his proper upbringing as well as the lack of pain his throat felt in such rooms as he didn't have to break now that he was dead, "It is not a hobby meant for women as lovely as you." Hearing the bartender leave their spot, he turned to take their drinks but found only one sitting there. "Excuse me, I ordered two" The man turned to Damon, disgust clear on his face, "I know whatcha ordered, we don serve her kind here. Shouldn't even serve you, nigger lover, in fact get the hell outa my place!" Damon fought his urges, he wanted to drink the life out of the man insulting him and Tonya, but he refused to be seen as a monster in Tonya's eyes, he was afraid she would judge him for using violence, for being a creature of the night that was meant to live in shame, alone. So instead of doing what he truly wanted, instead of diving across the bar and brutally ripping out the man's neck, he stood up and brought his coat around his shoulders and placed his hat ontop of his head, "You should be ashamed of yourself for being so blind to the beauty this woman holds." Damon held out his arm for her in hopes his gesture would further anger the bartender, but Tonya just stood there glaring at the man before scoffing and taking the drink meant for Damon and throwing it back, surely her own defiant gesture before walking towards the door without looking back. Damon followed and once outside he called after her as she stopped walking, "I'm sorry, I should have thought, I assumed since it's the north-" She cut him off, clearly not interested in talking anymore, "I think it's time for me to go home."~. _

Tonya turned on her stool to face him, "So, it's time for you to answer questions since I came" Damon snorted as one eyebrow rose while the other eye became squinted due to his lopsided grin, "Now, why would I risk you leaving before dinner like that?" Tonya blew air out of her mouth making a noise similar to that of a horse, "How unfair. Maybe I should start stalking you to we're even." "But what if you saw me… Indecent" Damon raised his eyebrows while widening his eyes as he spoke the last word, while gesturing to himself before turning to the bartender and ordering drinks for the both of them. "I thought you were a gentleman and here you are not even letting me choose what I want to drink." Damon rolled his eyes with a small smile on his lips that reflected hers. Picking up his drink and turning his body towards the tables, "I'll let you choose dinner to make up for it, how about… chicken legs?" Damon looked over at Tonya after slightly gesturing to a woman with stick thin legs that curved into a large rear end "Hah, hardly a meal, how about ham?" slightly tilting her glass in to the other side of the room where a large man sat, snorting as he laughed in-between moments of shoving beer and chips into his face. Damon's nose crinkled up in disgust, clearly thinking he was above eating anything that wasn't attractive, "I'm watching my weight". "Alright, how about a nice lean steak then" Damon followed Tonya's appreciating gaze that fell on a short yet very athletic, well-built man, Damon almost growled at the attraction he saw in her eyes for the man, "I hate steak". Tonya chuckled, amused with how easily the playfulness in his voice disappeared when she pointed out another good looking man, "Yeah, they do tend to be painful when stabbed into you." Damon looked over at her, not amused at the poor vampire joke with a sexual double meaning that she had made, raising one eyebrow in disbelief that she would make such a poor joke he asked with slight annoyance, "really?" If possible, her smile beamed at him even brighter, her joy growing even more at his lack of humor, and as he looked back to the crowd in hopes to bother her she continued her joking, "What did the female vampire say to the hunter?" "No" Damon didn't even look over at her, clearly not wanting to indulge her. "Come on" Damon looked over at her signing dramatically as if asking for the punch line in the joke inconvenienced him deeply, "What did the vampire say?" "Is that a stake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Damon watched as she snickered at her own joke before interrupting, still pretending to be displeased with the whole conversation, "the real kicker of the joke is that either way there's a hard piece of wood ready to be thrust into her." Tonya giggled wildly, not noticing the pleased look in Damon's eyes that came from her enjoying his sense of humor.

Damon waited for her to calm herself before he continued their previous conversation, "Anyways," he spoke as he indicated to a girl with very large eyes who the steak was speaking with, "I prefer venison." "Maybe they'll leave together and we'll both get what we want." Damon's lip quirked upward before he spoke in a sensually low voice, drawing out his words, "They do make a delicious couple" Damon looked over in surprise as a thunderous laugh came from Tonya's throat, clearly she was deeply amused by what he has said rather than having the response Damon was hoping for. "You're a creepy person. Were you this creepy before you were a vampire?" Damon stared at the huge grin on her face before locking eyes with her and leaning in close enough that she could feel his breath on her face, "I'm too sexy to be creepy." Tonya fell into his eyes, just as he wanted, unable to look away from his face or think of something clever to say, but the moment was broken as a foul smelling man tumbled between them, leaning on the counter to order a drink for himself.

While waiting for his scotch he turned around to face away from the bar, his arm catching Tonya's drink and knocking it over, causing the remaining contents to fall onto her lap. His movements were clearly not an accident, especially since all his friends sat laughing across the room, pointing in their direction as the bulky man smiled condescendingly, "my mistake nigger, you'll have to leave now." Before Tonya could blink let alone respond Damon had his hand around the buffoons neck, his face scrunched up in rage and eyes fixed on him as he growled, "Apologize." It was surprising the man could speak with how tight the grip was but somehow he managed, "Fuck you nigger lov-" before the last word was complete the drunks head had been bashed against the counter before Damon spoke, "I didn't get to finish, apologize of the next hit will be against my glass." Damon's actions as well as the murderous look in his eyes left the man dizzy and filled with fright. His friend at this point had jumped up from their seats and the bartender got on the phone, threatening to call the police, but before the drunk comrades reached them Tonya stood half in front of Damon as she placed her hand on his chest, gaining his attention, urging him with her actions and eyes to stand down instead of causing a bar fight that would inevitably end with everyone dying but them.

Damon didn't care in those moments, he wanted the confrontation he wanted to take his rage out on every person in the room, he was uninterested in playing the good guy, but the intensity of Tonya's stare reminded him that he couldn't risk causing a news story that would draw unwanted attention, especially if Mystic Falls still had those who believed in vampires. Smashing this pigs face in followed by murdering all witnessed was not the way to stay hidden, sadly, so Damon threw the man to the ground as he let go of his neck, and placed his hand in Tonya's. He hoped that taking her hand would upset the racists, but more importantly needed to grasp her hand so he would relax instead of risk lunging for nearby throats. Walking outside, Damon did not drop her hand, both of their grips painfully tight on one another, in this moment he realized how mad she was and for some reason hoped it wasn't at him for acting too rash. He thought she was calm by how she had acted inside, but it was clear that rage was radiating off of her. Damon's confidence was incredibly large, but for a brief second he felt as though he had made a mistake, showing his viciousness in front of her, upsetting her like he assumed he had years before. He couldn't go back inside and kill the man, so instead he hoped to distract her and stay on her good side, "Damon." She looked up from the ground and gave him a hard stare for what seemed like a long time before giving him a barely noticeable smile "I thought you said you were a man of your word" Her smile grew at her own comment causing a bit of the rage Damon felt to leave him, "well, I figured the night was over so you would want to know my name since we're going back to your place." He winked at her while his eyes blazed into hers, both of their eyes locked in a playful staring contest, "I'm still waiting on dinner."


	5. Chapter 5

Last call had come and passed, leaving Travis standing outside by his car smoking a cigarette, trying to let the fresh air mixed with nicotine sober him up enough to feel safe driving home after a night at the bar. After waving as the last of his companions drove off, he stood alone in the parking lot. Feeling the chill of the night air run through him he flicking the rest of his smoke to the ground and turned to get in his car. After unlocking the door he glanced over his shoulder at the sound of footsteps only for them to stop immediately. He stared into the darkness, squinting to see if he saw anything past the street lights, detecting nothing he turned his attention back to opening his door only to spin around once he heard a laugh.

Travis took a few steps from his car, ready to defend his self, heart racing a million miles a minute pumping adrenaline through his veins, ears straining to hear human made noises. He stood still so long the sudden breeze behind him made him jump, as if the wind were an attacker's voice hissing in his ear. Deciding the sounds had come from nearby and not from someone hiding in the lot, Travis got in the car after spitting on the ground to get the bad taste of fear out of his mouth. The sound of tires squealing filled the air as the car sped out of the lot and onto the street.

Small homes were passed and now all that surrounded the road with the lone car on it were endless lines of trees. The driver sat rubbing his face, trying to focus on the never changing scenery that he passed on his drive home. He fiddled with the radio to try to stay awake, then moved on to fixing the review mirror since it was pointed at the ceiling. Pulling it down his heart nearly jumped out of his chest as he saw a face mockingly smiling at him. Slamming on the breaks caused his head to bounce of the driver's wheel, resulting in a laugh to echo from behind him. Fighting through the haze filling his eyes, Travis scrambled to put the car in park so it wouldn't roll away as he got out of the car in hopes of pulling the girl he had insulted earlier at the bar from his car and beating her, but before he could he was ripped into the back seat with impressive force.

He swung his arms, trying to fight off the girl: surely he could take her down. She twisted his wrist, snapping it back as if it were a twig, her expression suggesting that doing so was a pleasurable act. Annoyed with the sound of his voice screaming out, annoyed by every breath he took she dove forward to sink her elongated teeth into his neck, breaking the veins just below the skin and digging into his Adams apple, leaving him unable to cry out in protest any longer. The back door supporting the two suddenly moved, causing their upper bodies to dangle out of the car. Tonya looked up at Damon who playful scorned her through pouting lips, "Gee, don't share or anything" She bit into her wrist and forced it onto the dying man's lips getting little protest as he had no energy left to oppose her wishes. Within minutes his wrist snapped back into place and the gushing wound on his neck sealed shut. Damon took the now healed wrist in his hands and slammed his fangs into the flesh, clearly not interested in being gentle with the man. Damon stopped before draining too much blood, not wanting to kill him now that he had vampire blood in his system.

Not realizing Tonya had slid out the other side of the car and now stood next to him, Damon gave her a long look waiting for her decision on what to do next since it was her choice of a meal. She lifted him up and put him back in the front seat and slapped his face a few times to wake him up and gain his attention, waiting for his pupils to dilate as she began to compel him.

"If you are alive tomorrow, you will devote your life to fighting for racial and gender equality, you will never find a white woman attractive again, and you will feel personally insulted when you see acts of prejudice." Damon cut in, "If he survives?" Tonya looked up at Damon for a brief moment before turning back to Travis.

"You're going to drive as fast as you can into that guard railing up ahead without your seatbelt on. If you live, you will say you had too many drinks at the bar and over reacted to a bird flying across the street." Damon scoffed, "A bird?" Tonya smiled, "Swerving for a deer would be more reasonable, but I want him to sound like an idiot."


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own Vampire Diaries or anyone in it. Also, Damon is a dick in this chapter, blinded by Katherine love and all that.**

Damon's gaze was fixated on the ceiling above him. After hours lying in the same position he should have been able to describe every curve of the cracks, the number of dots indented in the cheap tiling. If you asked him what color it was he would be unable to recall that it was a slightly tan color rather than white. His mind couldn't stop replaying every memory he had of Tonya, which would then lead him into a collage of moments shared with Kathrine, unintentionally comparing the two women who had been a deep part of his life. This cycle resulted in a finale of self-loathing and confusion.

How could he be so pathetic? He spent most of his life searching for and wishing for Katherine's return, yet here he was picturing his life with someone else, allowing her to cloud his thoughts so heavily that he was still, as if paralyzed, for hours. He needed to stop his playful interactions with Tonya he decided; in a few months' time he would be rescuing Kathrine. He would open the tomb in which she was trapped and watch as her usually mischievous eyes would instead look upon him with tears of joy at the familiarity of his face. She would finally let it sink in how much he loved her, how deeply he cared while his brother did nothing, she would truly need and want him and her affections would no longer be split. Pessimism crept in quickly at the thought of his brother, what if he was met with a soul piercing stare, the type that swirl with a mixture of scorn and displeasure. What if she looked at him with despise because he hadn't come soon enough, or resent him for simply not being Stefan. He hated his brother for having a part of her affection. They were meant to be solely for him. Stefan was supposed to grow old, have a normal life while he and Kathrine lived forever. He focused on the thought in order to drive away the idea of Katherine being anything but pleased to see him, she would be freed from the tomb and they would have the happily forever after he had hoped to experience by becoming a vampire.

Tonya didn't even remember him. He growled, realizing she had managed to spill back into his thoughts once again. He couldn't help but to focus on her as the oddness of her amnesia dawned on him for the first time. What causes memory loss in vampires? There wasn't a head trauma strong enough to remove a vampires past from their minds, perhaps it was witches. She had known many having been a witch herself; maybe she requested a spell to make her forget what she had lost by being a vampire.

She could be pretending to not know him, running into him could have been a mistake and hoped that a lack of memory would be enough to dissuade Damon from interacting. He laughed humorlessly to himself, if she was pretending then she must have incredible restraint to not stab a stake into his flesh repeatedly, unless she turned off her humanity. It might be easier for her to restrain herself from causing Damon the pain he deserved in that case. Whatever the reason, her forgotten history could be a chance for Damon to have a clean slate with her, his abandonment of her as a human and his ultimate betrayal of her years later.

_Damon thought he knew what love felt like, a gentle embrace that brought warmth to the soul and calmness to his ever rushing mind. That what he had with Tonya and that is what he always imagined love would be like with a woman. This was all he wished for until the ravishing beauty known as Kathrine Pierce stepped out of the carriage and onto his front yard. _

_As time passed, the love he felt for her was much different, and made him realize he wanted no other. Kathrine was a love that swallowed him whole and set Damon's very core on fire, a love that kept him guessing and alive with passion. A love that was impossible to win it seemed. As difficult as it may have been, Damon would do anything to gain her affections the way that she had stolen his, including turning a cold shoulder towards the much younger slave girl who had captured a part of him in the past. _

_It pained him to detach himself from the familiarity of comforting love, to not be able to have long conversations about his family, his goals, and his pains with a girl who knew exactly how to cure those woes and elevate his dreams to new heights. He often found himself unable to look away from Tonya as she cleaned the home, as she tended to the luscious garden that bloomed from poor soil because of her connection to nature. He always thought Tonya would be the one to make him grow, just as she had tended to the flowers with care he thought she would be the one to do the same for him, yet here he was allowing for new heights to be met and new levels of joy to be had from Katherine instead. It's strange how life doesn't go as expected. _

_Each time he found himself longing for the connection he once shared with Tonya, he met eyes with Kathrine and all was forgotten. She was worth the great loss; Kathrine was worth sacrificing everything for. _

_Wartime was knocking at the door and Damon's need to please his father caused him to tear himself away from the days he could have running in the yard with Kathrine and Stefan. As he packed the last of his essentials for the journey to join the fight, he felt the need to speak with Tonya. It was strange that the feeling hit him so strongly as they had not spoken a word since he told her he had interest in another, but in spite of them no longer sharing passions for one another something inside him couldn't let him leave without saying goodbye to her. Before Damon could decide what to say to her in his parting words he found himself in front of her, his legs having carried him off without his full noticing. She stared at him, waiting for him to speak and found herself disappointed as well as greatly bothered by the simplicity of his comment, "I've come to say goodbye before heading off to fight."_

_"__What is the purpose in that? You left me some time ago when that harlot arrived, you betrayed my heart when you fell for her in an instant, and it is no surprise that you betray the promise of freedom you spoke to me of by fighting for the south." Even when filled with rage and hurt Tonya managed to keep her tone level, forever in control of herself, he respected her for that while at the same time it was this trait that made Kathrine's wild nature so captivating. It was this tone he hated the most because of how painful it made his heart feel, the coldness in her voice at that moment made him wince as though he couldn't breathe, as if he had ventured into the artic where without proper protection the air you inhaled felt as though it was freezing all the moisture in your lungs and throat. _

_Damon moved past the harsh comments and offered a form of explanation, "It would make my father proud if I went off to fight for our home, I would be viewed in greater light." He hoped she would understand this, as he had spent many nights telling her of his admiration for his dad. "No parent would be proud to have a child that lacks the strength to stand behind his convictions, and there is no war strong enough to make you into the man you hope to be." _

_Damon lost his temper, no longer able to withstand her insults he resorted to the same harshness she was showing him, perhaps taking it a bit further due to his rash nature "And no parent would be proud to have a whore slave girl as a daughter, and no matter how many walls you build nor how many privileged men you connect with you will never be the woman that Kathrine is." For a moment his words had accomplished their intended purpose, they had hurt her and brought back the feelings of betrayal and worthlessness that he had caused weeks before with his attachment to Katherine. _

_Bitterness mixed with genuine amusement rose from her mouth in the form of a chuckle as she regained her strength to continue this fight, "You're right, Kathrine will always have me beat with the number of men she interacts with for I only had you for some time while she has both you and your brother wrapped around her finger. You may have hurt me, but the love you have for her will leave you crippled when you realize she does not feel the same." Damon had been hoping to walk away with the last blow, but Tonya stole that as she turned, leaving him to drown in her words while watching her retreating form._

Damon could have slapped himself, it didn't matter if she forgave him or not or if she even remembered him, he and Kathrine would escape all worries together. When he has her back, he felt as though he would never think back on his choices with regret because Kathrine's love would make the loss and terrible actions he had done worth it. He would be consumed with passion and blissful freedom instead of plaguing replays of the past.

He needed to stay away from Tonya in the meantime though, using her as a pleasant distraction while waiting for his plan to set in motion was working too well. He couldn't lose track of what he set out to do, not because of her or anyone else. Damon shot up from the hotel bed, getting sick from sitting around lost in his mind, it was time to check in on the town's citizens and gather more information to use down the line. Before that, he desperately needed a drink.


End file.
